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THE BAR CHART BELOW SHOWS THE RESULT OF A SURVEY CONDUCTED BY A PERSONNEL DEPARTMENT AT A MAJOR COMPANY.THE SURVEY WAS CARRIED OUT ON TWO GROUPS OF WORKERS:THOSE AGED FROM 18-30 AND THOSE AGED 45-60,AND SHOWS FACTORS AFFECTING THEIR PERFORMANCE.WRITE A REPORT FOR A UNIVERSITY...

THE BAR CHART BELOW SHOWS THE RESULT OF A SURVEY CONDUCTED BY A PERSONNEL DEPARTMENT AT A MAJOR COMPANY. THE SURVEY WAS CARRIED OUT ON TWO GROUPS OF WORKERS: THOSE AGED FROM 18-30 AND THOSE AGED 45-60, AND SHOWS FACTORS AFFECTING THEIR PERFORMANCE. WRITE A REPORT FOR A UNIVERSITY. . . a06o

The bar chart provides information about how many factors affecting the work performance of employees in major company, in terms of two age groups(aged 18-30 and 45-60 years of age) through the survey held by personnel development. overall, the elements affecting the first age group's work are more when compared to other group while excluding couple of factors in which it outraced the first group. In contrast another pair of elements had no specific impact on both age groups. To begin with elements like chance for personal development and relaxed working environment had large effect on the employees of 18-30 years of age than second set 45-60 years of age with about 50 points difference. Along with job security and promotion prospects another aspects like job satisfaction and money showed considerable impact on 18-30 years of age group compared to 45-60 years of aged employees with difference of approximately 20-30 points and 2-5 points respectively. Meanwhile, the 45-60 years of age employees has more respect from colleagues and exceeded 18-30 age group in having more affect from aspect competent boss with about 5points difference. However team spirit and work environment were having equal range of impact in both age groups.

The bar chart provides information about how This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 factors affecting the work performance of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmemberlaborerclerkworkeragentrepresentative
employees
 in major This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :enterprisecorporation
company
, in terms of two You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 groups(aged 18-30 and 45-60 years of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age)
 through the survey held by personnel development. This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterOverall
overall
, the elements affecting the first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 group's work are more when compared to other You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbodycrowdfactionclubcompanyband
group
 while excluding It seems that an article is missing.a couple of
couple of
 factors in which it outraced the first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbodycrowdfactionclubcompanyband
group
. In Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?contrast,
contrast
 another pair of elements had no specific impact on both You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbodycrowdfactionclubcompanyband
groups
. To This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiatecommence
begin
 with elements like chance for personal development and relaxed working environment had large effect on the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmemberlaborerclerkworkeragentrepresentative
employees
 of 18-30 years of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 than second set 45-60 years of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 with about 50 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withstopmark
points
 difference. Along with job security and promotion prospects another aspects like job satisfaction and money This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :demonstratedportrayedindicateddisplayed
showed
 considerable impact on 18-30 years of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbodycrowdfactionclubcompanyband
group
 compared to 45-60 years of aged You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmemberlaborerclerkworkeragentrepresentative
employees
 with difference of approximately 20-30 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withstopmark
points
 and 2-5 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withstopmark
points
respectively
. Meanwhile, the 45-60 years of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmemberlaborerclerkworkeragentrepresentative
employees
 has more respect from colleagues and exceeded 18-30 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbodycrowdfactionclubcompanyband
group
 in having more Did you mean "effect"?effect
affect
 from aspect competent boss with about You use this word too often, consider replacing it withstopmark
5points
 difference. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?However,
However
 team spirit and work environment were having equal range of impact in both You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withbodycrowdfactionclubcompanyband
groups
. 