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The bar chart below shows the average rainfall for austrilia by month for last year

The bar chart below shows the average rainfall for austrilia by month for last year Nya0b
The bar graph compares the variation in average rainfall in Austrilia for previous year and the line graph illustrates it for last 40 years. At first glance, it is observed that in bar graph, during january to march in Austrilia, rainfall showed a constant flowed about 60mm. In addition, it is noticable that the period of april to october had experienced a drametic decrese from about 20mm to 10mm. Moreover, in last two month rainfall noticed 45mm and above in Austrilia. In line graph, initally at 60mm in the very first month, the rainfall in Austrilia fell down at 30mm in april. During april and september, it experienced a constant decrease from about 30mm to 10mm. There was a rapid surge in rainfall after september. At the end it reached at 60mm. Overall, it is clear that rainfall in Austrilia showed a rapid surge in first three month and las two month. In between april to october, it was observed steady decrease.
The bar
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graph
compares the variation in average
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rainfall
in
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Austrilia
for previous year and the line
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graph
illustrates it for last 40 years.

At
first
glance, it
is observed
that in bar
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graph
, during
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january
to march in
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Austrilia
,
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rainfall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a constant flowed about
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "60 mm"
60mm
.
In addition
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
noticable
that the period of
Possible spelling mistake found.
april
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
october
had experienced a
Possible spelling mistake found.
drametic
Possible spelling mistake found.
decrese
from about
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "20 mm"
20mm
to
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "10 mm"
10mm
.
Moreover
, in last two
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month
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rainfall
noticed
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "45 mm"
45mm
and above in
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Austrilia
.

In line
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graph
,
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initally
at
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "60 mm"
60mm
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
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month
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rainfall
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Austrilia
fell down at
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "30 mm"
30mm
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
april
. During
Possible spelling mistake found.
april
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
september
, it experienced a constant decrease from about
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "30 mm"
30mm
to
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "10 mm"
10mm
. There was a rapid surge in
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rainfall
after
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september
. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it reached at
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "60 mm"
60mm
.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
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rainfall
in
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Austrilia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a rapid surge in
first
three
Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: "months".
month
and
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las
two
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month
. In between
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april
to
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october
, it
was observed
steady decrease.

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the average rainfall for austrilia by month for last year

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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