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The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009. KKB3
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of expense allocated on five primary groups of goods and services in four different countries including the US, Canada, the UK and Japan in 2009. It is apparent that housing constituted the largest portion in three of four countries, except for Japan while the least money went on health care in all selected nations but the US. As can be seen from the chart, the residents in the US poured the highest amount of money on housing, accounting for 26% whereas food and transportation were of the most spending by the Japanese (about 23%) and the Canadian (20%). Regarding health care, the US people again ranked at the top with 7% as opposed to 6% for the first position of spending on clothing belonging to Canada and the US. In the reverse side, the lowest amount of money was put on housing by Canadians at 21% compared to 14% as the least part for food in the US and 10% for transportation in Japan. The spending on health care in the US was smallest, comprising of just 2% while the lowest figures for clothing were seen in both the US and Japan at 4%.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of expense allocated on five primary groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries including the US, Canada, the UK and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
in 2009.

It is apparent that housing constituted the largest portion in three of four countries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
while the least money went on health care in all selected nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the US.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, the residents in the US poured the highest amount of money on housing, accounting for 26% whereas food and transportation were of the most spending by the Japanese (about 23%) and the Canadian (20%). Regarding health care, the US
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
again ranked at the top with 7% as opposed to 6% for the
first
position of spending on clothing belonging to Canada and the US.

In the reverse side, the lowest amount of money
was put
on housing by Canadians at 21% compared to 14% as the least part for food in the US and 10% for transportation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
. The spending on health care in the US was smallest,
Did you mean "comprising" or "consisting of"?
comprising of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
2% while the lowest figures for clothing were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in both the US and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
at 4%.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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