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the bar chart below shows information student choose to study

the bar chart below shows information student choose to study m3kJn
The graph shows information about how many Australian students aged 15 decided to study French and Japanese between 2005 to 2015. Overall, what stands out from the graph is that, French is the most popular language to 15-year-old students while the figure of studying Japanese is the lowest over 10 years. In can be seen that, in 2005, the number of student selecting French reached a peak of 130. After that, the figure decreased about 70 students (from 130 to 90), it continued to rise to 90 members and fluctuated between 2010 and 2015. In contrast, the figure of students using Japanese with the lowest number about 10 people increased to 85 and then it decreased to 65. After it remained stable about approximately 66 people from 2011 to 2015. In general, students aged 15 selected French more than Japanese.
The graph
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shows
information about how
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many
Australian
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students
aged 15 decided to study French and Japanese
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2005 and 2015".
between 2005 to 2015
.

Overall
, what stands out from the graph is that, French is the most popular language to 15-year-
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old
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students
while the figure of studying Japanese is the lowest over 10 years.

In can be
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seen
that, in 2005, the number of
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student
selecting French reached a peak of 130. After that, the figure decreased about 70
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students
(from 130 to 90), it continued to rise to 90 members and fluctuated between 2010 and 2015.

In contrast
, the figure of
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students
using Japanese with the lowest number about 10
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people
increased to 85 and then it decreased to 65.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
it remained stable about approximately 66
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from 2011 to 2015.

In general
,
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students
aged 15 selected French more than Japanese.

IELTS academic the bar chart below shows information student choose to study

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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