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the bar chart below show the percentage of internationals students

the bar chart below show the percentage of internationals students BaROm
The bar chart illustrates the statistics of international students in eight different provinces of Canadian in 2001 and 2006. Overall, the number of Alberta declined and the rates of New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Quebec, British Columbia, Manitoba, Ontario, Newfoundland and Labrador underwent an increase over the given period. Looking at the details, the figure of New Brunswick rose considerably from approximately 7 to just under 12 percent in 2006. Likewise, the percentage of Nova Scotia displayed a surge from around 6 to approximately 10 percent. Moreover, there was a slight growth from 6 to 8 percent in the number of Quebec and an insignificant drop from 5 to under 4 percent was seen in the portion of Alberta in 2006. Furthermore, there was a dramatic increase from roughly 4 to well over 10 percent was observed in the proportion of British Columbia. Besides, accounting for nearly 4 percent in 2001, the figure of both Manitoba, Newfoundland and Labrador showed a minimal rise, at approximately 7 percent in 2006. Additionally, a remarkable growth from around 4 to 6 percent in 2006.
The bar chart illustrates the statistics of international students in eight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
provinces of Canadian in 2001 and 2006.

Overall
, the number of Alberta declined and the rates of New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Quebec, British Columbia, Manitoba, Ontario, Newfoundland and Labrador underwent an increase over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

Looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the figure of New Brunswick rose
considerably
from approximately 7 to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2006.
Likewise
, the percentage of Nova Scotia displayed a surge from around 6 to approximately 10
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percent
.
Moreover
, there was a slight growth from 6 to 8
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percent
in the number of Quebec and an insignificant drop from 5 to under 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the portion of Alberta in 2006.

Furthermore
, there was a dramatic increase from roughly 4 to well over 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
was observed
in the proportion of British Columbia.
Besides
, accounting for
nearly
4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2001, the figure of both Manitoba, Newfoundland and Labrador
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a minimal rise, at approximately 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2006.
Additionally
, a remarkable growth from around 4 to 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2006.
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IELTS academic the bar chart below show the percentage of internationals students

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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