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score earned by different team in different season

score earned by different team in different season pJQAa
The bar graph provides information about the points earned by three different teams in four seasons, namely 2001, 2002, 2003 and 2004Overall, it is readily apparent that, Team b have highest scored team, whereas, team c is the least earned group during the entire period. In the beginning, team B had its highest point of 82. While, it decreased gradually to 43 points by the year 2003, followed by a slight increase to 55 points in the final season. In contrast, the figures for team A was merely 5 point in the initial year; however it raised dramatically to 35 points in the mid period before falling to 8 points in 2005. Similarly, team c had twice as much as score of team b in 2002. But its level does not illustrated a significant variation over the first 3 seasons, its score fluctuated between 10 to 15, followed by a decline to 5 points in the last season
The bar graph provides information about the
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points
earned by three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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teams
in four
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seasons
,
namely
2001, 2002, 2003 and 2004Overall, it is
readily
apparent that, Team b have highest scored
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team
, whereas,
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team
c is the least earned group during the entire period. In the beginning,
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team
B had its highest
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point
of 82. While, it decreased
gradually
to 43
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points
by the year 2003, followed by a slight increase to 55
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points
in the final
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season
.
In contrast
, the figures for
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team
A was
merely
5
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point
in the initial year;
however
it raised
dramatically
to 35
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points
in the mid period
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before
falling to 8
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points
in 2005.
Similarly
,
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team
c had twice as much as score of
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team
b in 2002.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
its level does not
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "illustrate"
illustrated
a significant variation over the
first
3
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seasons
, its score fluctuated
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 10 and 15".
between 10 to 15
, followed by a decline to 5
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points
in the last
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season
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IELTS academic score earned by different team in different season

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
155 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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