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The bar chart below gives information about the water use in China, USA, Russia and Australia in 2010

The bar chart below gives information about the water use in China, USA, Russia and Australia in 2010 wBmmn
Given is the graph illustrating the comparison of water consumption in four different countries around 2010. It is clear that the water spent on agriculture in China was the dominant choice compared to other countries. By contrast, using for industrial purpose in Australia was the category receiving the least proportion. In 2010, water was mainly focused on agriculture. To be specific, China was the country having the highest consumption, at 84%, while the figure occurring in the USA, Russia, and Australia was significantly lower, at 39%, 30% and 35% respectively. In terms of industrial water use, there was a mere minority percentage of 8% and 4% in China and Australia. Meanwhile, 42% was the percentage of water use in the USA and highly consumption (60%) was Russia. As for domestic usage, China made up 9%, which was lower than the rest countries. However, spending on this item in Australia was the highest of the total group, at 61%.
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Given
is the graph illustrating the comparison of
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water
consumption in four
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different
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countries
around 2010.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
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water
spent on agriculture in China was the dominant choice compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. By contrast, using for industrial purpose in Australia was the category receiving the least proportion.

In 2010,
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water
was
mainly
focused on agriculture. To be specific, China was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
having the highest consumption, at 84%, while the figure occurring in the USA, Russia, and Australia was
significantly
lower, at 39%, 30% and 35%
respectively
. In terms of industrial
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, there was a mere minority percentage of 8% and 4% in China and Australia. Meanwhile, 42% was the percentage of
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the USA and
highly
consumption (60%) was Russia.

As for domestic usage, China made up 9%, which was lower than the rest
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countries
.
However
, spending on this item in Australia was the highest of the total group, at 61%.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below gives information about the water use in China, USA, Russia and Australia in 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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