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the amount of money spent on. books

the amount of money spent on. books j9yMy
The line graph below illustrates the total money invested in books in 4 different nations Germany, France, Italy and Austria in the decade of the period starting with 1995. Overall, it is clear that all four countries experienced an upward trend throughout the period, while the numbers of people spent on books in Germany seem to outnumber compared with 3 others. To be specific, By 1995 $80 million dollars was accounted for money invested in books in Germany. Similarly, the figure for France and Italy in the first year was $55 million and $50 million respectively, while there were only 30$ million for Austria. Despite some fluctuations, Germany still led in the race for books investment compared to other countries with a total of almost $100 million by the end of the period. There was a steady rose in the expenditure on books in France, and this finally reached a figure of $75 million in 2005 which made France to be the second highest before Germany. This was similar to the number for Austria, where the money spent on books increased sharply to almost equal France with $72 by the end of the period. Italy experienced a slightly increase throughout the period, reaching a final figure of just over $60 million in 2005
The line graph below illustrates the total money invested in
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books
in 4
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different
nations Germany, France, Italy and Austria in the decade of the
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period
starting with 1995.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that all four countries experienced an upward trend throughout the
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period
, while the numbers of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in Germany seem to outnumber compared with 3 others.

To be specific, By
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$1995".
1995 $
80
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million
dollars
was accounted
for money invested in
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books
in Germany.
Similarly
, the figure for France and Italy in the
first
year was $55
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million
and $50
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million
respectively
, while there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$30".
30$
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million
for Austria. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations, Germany
still
led in the race for
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books
investment compared to other countries with a total of almost $100
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million
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

There was a steady rose in the expenditure on
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books
in France, and this
finally
reached a figure of $75
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million
in 2005 which made France to be the second highest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Germany. This was similar to the number for Austria, where the money spent on
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books
increased
sharply
to almost equal France with $72 by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
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period
. Italy experienced a
You used an adverb ('slightly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
slightly increase
throughout the
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period
, reaching a final figure of
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just
over $60
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million
in 2005
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IELTS academic the amount of money spent on. books

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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