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the amount of holiday accommodation chosen in four types (Self-catering,Caravan,Camping,Hotel) by The British in 2010.

the amount of holiday accommodation chosen in four types (Self-catering, Caravan, Camping, Hotel) by The British in 2010. 1oBWX
The given bar chart illustrates the amount of holiday accommodation chosen in four types (Self-catering, Caravan, Camping, Hotel) by The British in 2010. The general overview here is that the hotel was the most popular choosing by all of four countries (England, Scotland, Wales, Northman Ireland). As it can be seen from the chart, in term of the hotel, which was the most popular holiday resident chosen in the British, its number in England stood at just over 50 per cent, which was higher 4-10 per cent than for other three countries. Although the number of Self-catering was high in three countries, accounted for exactly 30 per cent in Scotland and merely over 20 per cent in England and Wales, the amount of Self-catering in Northern Ireland was low at just up 10 per cent. On the other hand, the amount of caravan was higher in higher in Northern Ireland about over 30 per cent, While the figure of other three countries was 2-fold lower than the Northern Ireland. Moreover, the England, wales and Northern Ireland shared similar figure of camping at just over 10 per cent. On the contrary, The number of camping in Scotland was only 6 per cent.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrates the amount of holiday accommodation chosen in four types (Self-catering, Caravan, Camping, Hotel) by The British in 2010. The general overview here is that the hotel was the most popular choosing by
Consider using "all four" or "all of the four".
all of four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
(England, Scotland, Wales,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Northman
Ireland).

As it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, in term of the hotel, which was the most popular holiday resident chosen in the British, its number in England stood at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
50 per cent, which was higher 4-10 per cent than for other three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Although the number of Self-catering was high in three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, accounted for exactly 30 per cent in Scotland and
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
20 per cent in England and Wales, the amount of Self-catering in Northern Ireland was low at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
up 10 per cent.

On the other hand
, the amount of caravan was
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "higher in".
higher in higher in
Northern Ireland about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
30 per cent, While the figure of other three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
was 2-fold lower than the Northern Ireland.
Moreover
, the England, wales and Northern Ireland shared similar figure of camping at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
10 per cent.
On the contrary
, The number of camping in Scotland was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
6 per cent.
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IELTS academic the amount of holiday accommodation chosen in four types (Self-catering, Caravan, Camping, Hotel) by The British in 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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