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the amount of acid rain emitted in the UK

the amount of acid rain emitted in the UK ldGPX
The line chart indicates the amount of acid rain emitted in the UK, measured in millions of tonnes, from four different categories over a period of 17 years. Overall, it can be seen UK acid rain emissions witnessed a gradual downward, with the exception of increasing in transport and communication. Additionally, utilities released the highest amount of acid rain in the UK. To begin with, the quantity of acid rain from electricity, gas and water supply was at the top of the graph with nearly 3. 5 million of tonnes, followed by a steady decrease in 1999. At the end of the period, it plummeted to approximately 0. 5 million tonnes. Over the period, domestic and other industries had a similar decrease, starting with 2 and 0. 5 millions tonnes and ending with 0. 25 and 1. 25 million tonnes respectively. Unlike others, the figure of acid rain that transport and communication released rose slightly from 0. 3 to 1 and reached its peak in 2005 before dropping to 0. 5 in 2007.
The line chart indicates the amount of
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acid
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rain
emitted in the UK, measured in
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millions
of tonnes, from four
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different
categories over a period of 17 years.
Overall
, it can be
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seen
UK
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acid
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rain
emissions witnessed a gradual downward,
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with the exception of
increasing in transport and communication.
Additionally
, utilities released the highest amount of
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acid
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rain
in the UK.

To
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begin
with, the quantity of
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acid
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rain
from electricity, gas and water supply was at the top of the graph with
nearly
3. 5
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million
of tonnes, followed by a steady decrease in 1999. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, it plummeted to approximately 0. 5
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million
tonnes. Over the period, domestic and other industries had a similar decrease, starting with 2 and 0. 5
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millions
tonnes and ending with 0. 25 and 1. 25
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million
tonnes
respectively
.

Unlike others, the figure of
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acid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rain
that transport and communication released rose
slightly
from 0. 3 to 1 and reached its peak in 2005
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before
dropping to 0. 5 in 2007.
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IELTS academic the amount of acid rain emitted in the UK

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
173 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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