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Survey of college going boys and girls activities other than academic studies

Survey of college going boys and girls activities other than academic studies 8d6nB
The given chart depicts the survey of college going boys and girls activities other than academic studies. This circle graph compares the non- padentic undertakings of girls and boys. This illustrates the highest accounts for surfing the internet and for gaming on computers, which is recorded to be just under the half. It also shows the appearence of boys in outdoor physical ventures such as football(13%), basketball (20%), baseball (7%), which is exactly two fifth. And, they are amounts under one tenth, who listen to music. Similarly, they illustrates only 3% of boys are interesting in book reading and magazines. On the other hand, girls demonstrates the much proportion in physical activities like gym and aerobic, dancing and sports, which is nearly just over the two fifth. And, they accounts just beneath the one third for surfing the internet and computer games. Around one fifth girls interesting in reading and shows little interest to listening music. Overall, boys spend their more time in front of computer screens or mobile phones. But, girls are more interested in physical ventures. This chart clears that girls are more active than the boys.
The
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given
chart depicts the survey of college going
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boys
and
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girls
activities other than academic studies. This circle graph compares the non-
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padentic
undertakings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
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boys
. This illustrates the highest accounts for surfing the internet and for gaming on computers, which
is recorded
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under the half. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
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appearence
of
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boys
in outdoor physical ventures such as football(13%), basketball (20%), baseball (7%), which is exactly two fifth. And, they are amounts under one tenth, who listen to music.
Similarly
, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "illustrate"
illustrates
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only
3% of
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boys
are
Did you mean "interested"?
interesting
in book reading and magazines.
On the other hand
,
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girls
demonstrates the much proportion in physical activities like gym and aerobic, dancing and sports, which is
nearly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over the two fifth. And, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "account"
accounts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
beneath the one third for surfing the internet and computer games. Around one fifth
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girls
interesting in reading and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
interest to listening music.
Overall
,
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boys
spend their more time in front of computer screens or mobile phones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
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girls
are more interested in physical ventures. This chart clears that
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girls
are more active than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
.
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IELTS academic Survey of college going boys and girls activities other than academic studies

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
189 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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