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Survey about tea and coffee buying and drinking in Australian cities

Survey about tea and coffee buying and drinking in Australian cities nN6j7
The bar chart illustrates views about percentages of residents buying various drinks during the last 4 weeks in 5 Australian cities (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, Hobart). Overall, in all cities most of the people went to cafes for coffee or tea, while, the lowest percentage of residents bought fresh coffees during that period. In 3 cities, more than 60% of residents preferred cafes for drinks, however, in the other 2 cities in Brisbane and Adelaide, it was not above from 55%. Almost in all cities', percentage of buying instant coffee was less than buying fresh coffee except for Adelaide, even so, it's percentage was higher than 45%. The lowest rate for going to cafes was in Adelaide, for instance, it was not even high from 50%. Brisbane saw the lowest rate in buying fresh coffee in the last 4 weeks just as Adelaide did To sum up, Residents mostly went to cafe in all cities, meanwhile, the lowest amount of residents bought fresh coffee and it was only around 35-45% in 5 cities.
The bar chart illustrates views about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
various drinks during the last 4 weeks in 5 Australian
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cities
(Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, Hobart).

Overall
, in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
went to
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or tea, while, the
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lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffees
during that period.

In 3
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cities
, more than 60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
preferred
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
for drinks,
however
, in the other 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in Brisbane and Adelaide, it was not above from 55%. Almost in all cities',
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
was less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
Adelaide, even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was higher than 45%.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lowest
rate for going to
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
was in Adelaide,
for instance
, it was not even high from 50%. Brisbane
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lowest
rate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in the last 4 weeks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as Adelaide
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
did


To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Residents
mostly
went to
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lowest
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
around 35-45% in 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
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IELTS academic Survey about tea and coffee buying and drinking in Australian cities

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
173 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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