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Summary, the literacy rate by religion and gender in 2011

Summary, the literacy rate by religion and gender in 2011 OryG7
The bar chart provides information about the literacy rate by religion and gender in 2011. It is obvious that higher percentages of males than females at that year. Genders in Central Asia was the percentage up to one hundred percent and the others experienced a downward trend, Hit the lowest charts is Sub-Sahara Africa just over a half percent. The percentages of both Central Asia and Central/Eastern EU are in almost the same gender rate. However, Central EU lower tow to three percent. In other countries, Males are always higher percent than females around 10% for each religion. The percentage of males in East Asia is as high as Central EU but females lower tow to four percent. All of the counties such as Latin America, Arab states are not too many different percentages approximately over eighty-five percent. The final two groups are South and West Asia, Sub-Sahara Africa got the smallest percent. The percentages of males respectively to over seventy to eighty percent and females the same around 65 %. All in all, we still have disparities in literacy rate by religion and gender, so we need to high up the literacy to everyone to improve our society in the future.
The bar chart provides information about the literacy rate by religion and gender in 2011. It is obvious that higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
of
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males
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
at that year. Genders in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Central
Asia was the
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percentage
up to one hundred
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percent
and the others experienced a downward trend, Hit the lowest charts is Sub-Sahara Africa
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just
over a half
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percent
. The
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percentages
of both
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Central
Asia and Central/Eastern EU are in almost the same gender rate.
However
,
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Central
EU lower tow to three
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percent
. In other countries,
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Males
are always higher
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percent
than
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females
around 10% for each religion. The
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percentage
of
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males
in East Asia is as high as
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Central
EU
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but
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females
lower tow to four
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percent
.
Consider using "all the".
All of the
counties such as Latin America, Arab states are not too
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many
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different
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percentages
approximately over eighty-five
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percent
. The final two groups are South and West Asia, Sub-Sahara Africa
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got
the smallest
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percent
. The
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percentages
of
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males
respectively
to over seventy to eighty
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percent
and
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females
the same around 65 %. All in all, we
still
have disparities in literacy rate by religion and gender,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we need to high up the literacy to everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our society in the future.
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IELTS academic Summary, the literacy rate by religion and gender in 2011

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
202 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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