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Summarise the information about the diagram of chemicals & environment damage.

Summarise the information about the diagram of chemicals & environment damage. pGO3
The diagram shows the way of chemicals make impact on the environment. Overall, the chemicals that are produced by human's lives huge damage to the nature, environment. Factories and vehicles such as cars, buses, and airplanes produce gases by burning two resources, coal and oil. Those dangerous gases go up to the air, and react with clouds. Then it became acid rain. Acid rain damages to leaves and roots, so it damages to the animal like butterfly too. Also, acid rain would causes of soil pollution. The things that factories produce is not only dangerous gases like coal and oil, but also chemical waste. Chemical waste goes to the sea through river flow. Acid rain also enter the sea. As a result, all the chemicals which enter into the sea would be a cause of death of fishes and sea plants. In addition, those chemicals make bad impact on leaves, roots, and animal feed.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the way of
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chemicals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
impact on the environment.
Overall
, the
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chemicals
that
are produced
by human's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
huge damage to the nature, environment. Factories and vehicles such as cars, buses, and airplanes produce gases by burning two resources, coal and oil. Those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
gases go up to the air, and react with clouds. Then it became
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acid
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rain
.
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Acid
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rain
damages to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
and roots,
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so
it damages to the animal like butterfly too.
Also
,
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acid
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rain
would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "cause"
causes
of soil pollution. The things that factories produce is not
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only
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dangerous
gases like coal and oil,
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but
also
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chemical
waste.
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Chemical
waste goes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
through river flow.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Acid
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rain
also
enter the
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sea
.
As a result
, all the
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chemicals
which enter into the
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sea
would be a cause of death of fishes and
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sea
plants.
In addition
, those
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chemicals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
, roots, and animal feed.
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IELTS academic Summarise the information about the diagram of chemicals & environment damage.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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