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Employment sectors of graduates from Brighton University, 2019

Employment sectors of graduates from Brighton University, 2019 g9ol
The pie chart illustrates the career choices of Brighton University's 2019 graduates, giving the percentages who worked in each of various sectors after finishing university. Overwhelmingly, industry and government were the most popular choices. Just under half the students went into industry, with service industries attracting more Brighton graduates than any other sector by far — almost a third (33. 0%). About half that number (16. 3%) took jobs in manufacturing. Politics and public service were the next most popular choice, accounting for nearly a fifth of graduates. Just over 12% went into politics and a further 5. 6% chose the civil service. The other significant career choices were education (about 15%) and two others: transportation and warehousing, with 7. 8%; and science and technology with 7. 3%. The least popular choices included work in the charitable sector and careers in sport, both of which were chosen by well under 1% of graduates. Finally, 2. 8% entered work in other, unspecified, sectors. (155 words)
The pie chart illustrates the career
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choices
of Brighton University's 2019
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graduates
, giving the percentages who worked in each of various
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sectors
after finishing university.
Overwhelmingly
, industry and
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government
were the most popular choices.

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Just
under half the students went into industry, with service industries attracting more Brighton
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graduates
than any
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other
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sector
by far — almost a third (33. 0%). About half that number (16. 3%) took jobs in manufacturing.

Politics and public service were the
next
most popular
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choice
, accounting for
nearly
a fifth of
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graduates
.
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Just
over 12% went into politics and a
further
5. 6% chose the civil service. The
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other
significant career
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choices
were education (about 15%) and two others: transportation and warehousing, with 7. 8%; and science and technology with 7. 3%.

The least popular
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choices
included work in the charitable
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sector
and careers in sport, both of which
were chosen
by well under 1% of
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graduates
.
Finally
, 2. 8% entered work in
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other
, unspecified,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors. (155
words)
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IELTS academic Employment sectors of graduates from Brighton University, 2019

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
163 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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