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Students should be completely free to choose whether to study or play games. They should be allowed to manage their own time. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

Students should be completely free to choose whether to study or play games. They should be allowed to manage their own time. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. xOpJb
Time Management is one of the key task in everybody's life. However, most of the people fail at doing so. This may be because of their priorities or either their work pressure. Students life is balanced only when it has both study and play. According to me, a student should be given free hand to manage their own time. Firstly, A person's own experience will help him acquire new skills. In order to learn how to manage time, a person should learn from his mistakes. Lets take an example of person, who fails to wake up early in the morning in order to manage his tasks. Later on, the person realises how to wake early in order to get the work done. Moreover, every individual own knowledge will give him the required self-confidence and the individual will never do the mistake again. Although the student may learn time management, On the flip side, there are some demerits too. The person may fail numerous time in order to overcome the arrangement of schedule problem. This may lead to depression of the person. Students may also fail at examinations if they fail at time management. Moreover, some students may opt only for games instead of studies. This may lead to collapse of their educational life. Finally, as the advantages outnumbered the disadvantages, I think students must be given a free hand in order to manage their own time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
Management is one of the key task in everybody's life.
However
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fail
at doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. This may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their priorities or either their work pressure.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
life
is balanced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when it has both study and play.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
free hand to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
time.

Firstly
, A person's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him acquire new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to learn how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should learn from his mistakes.
Did you mean "Let's" (let's = let us; lets = 3rd person singular of 'let')?
Lets
take an example of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fails
to wake up early in the morning in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
his tasks. Later on, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
Possible spelling mistake. 'realises' is British English.
realises
how to wake early in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the work done.
Moreover
, every individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
knowledge will give him the required self-confidence and the individual will never do the mistake again.

Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
may learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management, On the flip side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits too. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fail
numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to overcome the arrangement of schedule problem. This may lead to depression of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
person
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
may
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fail
at examinations if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fail
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may opt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for games
instead
of studies. This may lead to collapse of their educational life.

Finally
, as the advantages outnumbered the disadvantages, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a free hand in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS academic Students should be completely free to choose whether to study or play games. They should be allowed to manage their own time. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
236 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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