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stages of producing cement, and concrete.

stages of producing cement, and concrete. KlNr0
The given diagrams illustrate the stages and products needed for cement production, and the way cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. First, limestone, and clay are introduced into a crusher, and transformed into powder, then mixed with each other by a mixer, after this they path through a rotating heater which has a rotation motion, and heat is introduced at the second opening of the machine, this produce a liquid solution which is grinded in a grinder, and cement is formed, finally they are collected in bags. On the other hand, for the production of concrete, 15 percent of cement, is mixed with 10 percent of water, 25 percent of sand, and 50 percent of gravel which is small stones, in a concrete mixer which moves in a circular motion, and finally producing concrete.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagrams illustrate the stages and products needed for
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cement
production, and the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to produce concrete for building purposes.

First
, limestone, and clay
are introduced
into a crusher, and transformed into powder, then mixed with each other by a mixer, after this they path through a rotating heater which has a rotation motion, and heat
is introduced
at the second opening of the machine, this produce a liquid solution which is
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "ground", the past tense form of the verb 'grind'?
grinded
in a grinder, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is formed
,
finally
they
are collected
in bags.

On the other hand
, for the production of concrete, 15
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percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
,
is mixed
with 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of water, 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of sand, and 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of gravel which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones, in a concrete mixer which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
in a circular motion, and
finally
producing concrete.
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IELTS academic stages of producing cement, and concrete.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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