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Why people like to travel

Why people like to travel gW2m3
There are three important reasons for traveling to a new country. First, the most important cause of people traveling is to relax from stressful things. Because traveling will change peoples bad moods and make them happy. Second, many people like to travel to learn more about different cultures, so they like to explore what the world has. Third, some of the students travel to learn in the college and the children travel to learn in an excellent school so that helps them to get a good work after they graduate. In conclusion, people like to travel to different countries because they can relax from the stressful thing, learn more about a different culture, and study in a college.
There are three
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important
reasons for traveling to a new country.
First
, the most
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important
cause of
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people
traveling is to relax from stressful things.
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Because
traveling will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
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peoples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
moods and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happy. Second,
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many
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people
like to
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travel
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more about
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different
cultures,
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so
they like to explore what the world has. Third,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
students
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travel
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
in the college and the children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
in an excellent school
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so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work after they graduate.
In conclusion
,
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people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can relax from the stressful thing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more about a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture, and study in a college.
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IELTS academic Why people like to travel

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
118 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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