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Some way in which ice is formed and whichever it motion and faz

Some way in which ice is formed and whichever it motion and faz 0k2n
Process The diagram illustrates the way in which ice is formed and whichever it motion and faz. Overall, the process consist of seven stages, beginning with it snows on the mountain and ending up with it melts when temperature is hot. First of all the snow precipitate on the top of the mountain and turns to ice at low temperatures, it ice gradually increases. It melts as the ice heats up and begins to move down the mountain. In the next steps as the ice descends, it also picks up the the rocks next to it. However, those rocks will gather together and the ice will also stop there and as the temperature warms, it melts where the ice has stopped and flows into the river.
Process

The diagram illustrates the way in which ice
is formed
and whichever it
Did you mean "motions"?
motion
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
faz
.

Overall
, the process consist of seven stages, beginning with it snows on the mountain and ending up with it melts when temperature is hot.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
the snow precipitate on the top of the mountain and turns to ice at low temperatures, it
Did you mean "ices"?
ice
gradually
increases. It melts as the ice heats up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
down the mountain.

In the
next
steps as the ice descends, it
also
picks up
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
rocks
next
to it.
However
, those rocks will gather together and the ice will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
there and as the temperature warms, it melts where the ice has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
and flows into the river.
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IELTS academic Some way in which ice is formed and whichever it motion and faz

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
126 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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