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Some say you should always marry for love; others say that in an uncertain world it is wiser to marry for money. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

The pie charts illustrate the number of journals read by three different groups(all students, PhD students, Junior lecturers) of an Australian university every week. Overall, most of the articles read by PhD students of about 12 or more whereas 1 to 5 journal articles are the least referred by junior lecturers and PhD students whereas all students have invested their most of the time in reading the same. All students reading their articles 12% of 12 or more articles which is half of the proportion of what junior lecturers are reading. In contrast, PhD students are far higher than the other two with the highest of 80% reading 12 or more journals. Thereafter, looking into the articles given interest in PhD students is 15% of 6 to 11 articles far less than other two with 21% and 75% of all students and junior lecturers respectively. Although junior lecturers has a little proportion of only 1% of reading 1 to 5 articles which is the least, PhD students made a little growth than junior lecturers with 5% of their share whereas all students have the majority reading the same journal articles with 67% per week.
The pie charts illustrate the number of
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journals
read by three
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different
groups(all
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students
, PhD
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students
,
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Junior
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lecturers)
of an Australian university every week.

Overall
, most of the
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articles
read by PhD
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students
of about 12 or more whereas 1 to 5
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journal
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articles
are the least referred by
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junior
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lecturers
and PhD
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students
whereas all
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students
have invested their most of the time in
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reading
the same.

All
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students
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reading
their
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articles
12% of 12 or more
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articles
which is half of the proportion of what
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junior
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lecturers
are
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reading
.
In contrast
, PhD
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students
are far higher than the other two with the highest of 80%
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reading
12 or more
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journals
. Thereafter, looking into the
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articles
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given
interest in PhD
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students
is 15% of 6 to 11
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articles
far less than other two with 21% and 75% of all
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students
and
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junior
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lecturers
respectively
.

Although
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junior
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lecturers
It seems that the correct verb form here is “have”.
has
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
proportion of
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only
1% of
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reading
1 to 5
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articles
which is the least, PhD
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students
made a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
growth than
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junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturers
with 5% of their share whereas all
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students
have the majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
with 67% per week.

IELTS academic Some say you should always marry for love; others say that in an uncertain world it is wiser to marry for money.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Some say you should always marry for love; others say that in an uncertain world it is wiser to marry for money. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.