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The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below pictures between past and future 10 years of 4 stages of Brazil`s economy. There are finance, food processing, manufacturing, tourism and fossil fuel industry. As we see on the chart of last 10 years the most improved percentage was finance industry. In 2009 the lowest was food processing but it increased to 12 percentage in 2019. But manufacturing industry felt dawn to 5 percentage. The next 10 years from 2019 to 2029 the chart shows us different illustrations. The finance still grow but food processing falt dawn to 10 percentage in comparison last 10 years. Tourism still the same but fossil fuel industry shows not good results. In conclusion, we see that economy of Brazil has a good opportunity to grow. They need to make good strategy to approve the food processing industry and focus to manufacturing process, because it`s lawest bas in that chart. In the same time they need to not felt down in with the tourism and with the fossil fuel industry and try to improve all industries.
The bar
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chart
below pictures between past and future 10 years of 4 stages of
The character between ‘Brazil’ and ‘s’ is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use “Brazil’s” (curly apostrophe) or “Brazil’s” (straight apostrophe).
Brazil`s
economy. There are finance,
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food
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processing
, manufacturing, tourism and fossil fuel
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industry
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on the
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chart
of last 10 years the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
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percentage
was finance
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industry
. In 2009 the lowest was
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food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it increased to 12
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percentage
in 2019.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
manufacturing
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industry
felt dawn to 5
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percentage
. The
next
10 years from 2019 to 2029 the
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chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
illustrations. The finance
still
grow
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but
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food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processing
Possible spelling mistake found.
falt
dawn to 10
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percentage
in comparison
last 10 years. Tourism
still
the same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fossil fuel
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industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results.
In conclusion
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that economy of Brazil has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to grow. They need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
strategy to approve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
and focus to manufacturing process,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You used an accent character instead of an apostrophe. Please use either “it’s” or “it’s”.
it`s
Possible spelling mistake found.
lawest
Possible spelling mistake found.
bas
in that
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chart
. In the same time they need to not felt down in with the tourism and with the fossil fuel
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industry
and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
.

IELTS academic The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
175 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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