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Some people think that every nation should concentrate on agriculture to develop. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that every nation should concentrate on agriculture to develop. QRmly
On the other hand, agricultural development has some negative impacts on the environment. Firstly, agriculture is one of main sources of pollution in many countries. This is particularly the case for the excessive use of pesticides, fertilizers and toxic farm chemicals which can poison fresh water, soil, and air. Secondly, accelerating the development of agriculture has been caused a number of many rampant deforestations so far. This is because of the requirement of surging production, the demand for lands for farming is increased. For instance, according to recent survey by WWF in 2015, the world’s forest areas decreased 13% because farmers cleared new forest land for their farming after the government launched bold-sounding initiniatives for yield-enhancing.
On the other hand
, agricultural development has
some
negative
impacts on the environment.
Firstly
, agriculture is one of main sources of pollution in
many
countries. This is
particularly
the case for the excessive
use
of pesticides, fertilizers and toxic farm chemicals which can poison fresh water, soil, and air.
Secondly
, accelerating the development of agriculture has
been caused
a number of
many
rampant
deforestations
so
far. This is
because
of the requirement of surging production, the demand for lands for farming
is increased
.
For instance
, according to recent survey by WWF in 2015, the world’s forest areas decreased 13%
because
farmers cleared new forest land for their farming after the
government
launched bold-sounding
initiniatives
for yield-enhancing.

IELTS academic Some people think that every nation should concentrate on agriculture to develop.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
116 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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