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Some people believe that it's acceptable for the media to publish the details of famous people's private lives. Others say that it must be stopped. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that it's acceptable for the media to publish the details of famous people's private lives. Others say that it must be stopped. lLEjD
Some are okay with the media publishing private details of celebrities’ lives, while other people feel that this shouldn’t be allowed. Those who think this can continue believe that celebrities have sought out this type of life, whereas the people who think it should be banned understand that it’s bad for these famous people’s mental health. I personally feel that it should stop as it distracts the average person from focusing on important news. Those who are okay with the media publishing celebrity news think that celebrities understood that their private lives would be exposed before they decided to pursue their careers. As they have willingly agreed that they are okay with this, there is no need to prevent the media publishing their stories. However, the group who would like this type of news to stop understand that it takes a tremendous toll on the mental health of these celebrities. Being constantly followed by paparazzi and having intimate details of one’s life leaked to the public causes massive amounts of stress and often results in mental illness. I also believe that news like this should be stopped as it results in a lot of people neglecting to read more important news. As many are drawn to learn more about celebrities, important news stories about war and politics are often overshadowed by celebrity scandals. In conclusion, some feel that it’s acceptable for the media to publish stories about celebrities’ private lives because the celebrities themselves understood that this would happen. In contrast, others feel it should be stopped to prevent celebrities from suffering poor mental health. I personally agree that it should be stopped as celebrity news often takes attention away from more important issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are okay with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
publishing private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that this shouldn’t be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this can
Probably a preposition is missing after 'continue'.
continue believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have sought out this type of life, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it should
be banned
understand that it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health. I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that it should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
as it distracts the average person from focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
news.

Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are okay with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
publishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
understood that their private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
would
be exposed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they decided to pursue their careers. As they have
willingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that they are okay with this, there is no need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
publishing their stories.

However
, the group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
would like this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
understand that it takes a tremendous toll on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. Being
constantly
followed by paparazzi and having intimate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of one’s life leaked to the public causes massive amounts of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
illness.

I
also
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
like this should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
as it results in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
neglecting to read more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are drawn
to learn more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
stories about war and politics are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
overshadowed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
scandals.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that it’s acceptable for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to publish stories about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities’
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
themselves understood that this would happen.
In contrast
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
from suffering poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
takes attention away from more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
issues.
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IELTS academic Some people believe that it's acceptable for the media to publish the details of famous people's private lives. Others say that it must be stopped.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Some people believe that it's acceptable for the media to publish the details of famous people's private lives. Others say that it must be stopped. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.