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Some people believe that eighteen years old is the appropriate age to finish school while others disagree Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that eighteen years old is the appropriate age to finish school while others disagree j989X
In the present age, it is undeniable that technology is currently playing an increasingly important role in our daily lives which has brought about a quick approaching among young people. It helps them to manage their lifes thoughtfully and easily. But in the meantime, whether finishing school at the age of eighteen is appropriate or not remains controversial. This essay will analyse the drawbacks as well as the benefits of the discussion. I personally think that finishing school at the age of eighteen is completely proper. On the one hand, it is undeniable that learning from school hepls a lot when having a huge number of lectures, friends who always helpful and kind-hearted. With some people, there is not need spending too much money to pay their fees when school is ready to help if they are in difficult condition. Futhermore, learning in school offers a great deal of chances. There is a lot of scholarships, abroad studying, etc. . which is relatively tough for people who dropped out of school if they want to earn these things. On the other hand, dropping school is not that big deal as student can also spend their time traveling to some countries that helps them to enhance their knowledge and communication skills. In additon, they are not only improve their personal skills but also immerse in different languages which offers them a lot of opportunities to grow up or earn a living. Beside, instead of studying at school they can choose to access to another job which give them a huge amount of valuable experiences that no school could offers. In conclusion, despite the helpful benefits of studying at school in enhancing our knowledge. I personally believe that, finishing school at the age of eighteen is totally great as there are a lot of positive effects to us.
In the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, it is undeniable that technology is
currently
playing an
increasingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
which has brought about a quick approaching among young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to manage their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
thoughtfully
and
easily
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the meantime, whether finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of eighteen is appropriate or not remains controversial. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the drawbacks
as well
as the benefits of the discussion. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of eighteen is completely proper.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that learning from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake found.
hepls
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
when having a huge number of lectures, friends who always helpful and kind-hearted. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, there is not need spending too much money to pay their fees when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
if they are in difficult condition.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, learning in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
offers a great deal of chances. There is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of scholarships, abroad studying, etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
is
relatively
tough for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who dropped out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
if they want to earn these things.

On the other hand
, dropping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is not that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
deal as student can
also
spend their time traveling to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to enhance their knowledge and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
additon
, they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
immerse in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
languages which offers them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of opportunities to grow up or earn a living. Beside,
instead
of studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they can choose to access to another job which give them a huge amount of valuable experiences that no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "offer"
offers
.

In conclusion
, despite the helpful benefits of studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in enhancing our knowledge. I
personally
believe that, finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of eighteen is
totally
great as there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects to us.
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IELTS academic Some people believe that eighteen years old is the appropriate age to finish school while others disagree

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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