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six various fields of profession

six various fields of profession NMQeb
The two pie charts presented capture the percentages of six various fields of profession incorporated by both genders (males and females). Broadly speaking, it is evident that managerial and professional administrations hold the majority of the figures of both men and women. On the other hand, other non-manual tasks reside at the bottom of the list. The analysis reveals that a dominant portion of the males and females incline towards managerial and professional work scenarios measuring up to 32 and 28 percentages respectively. In addition, women are also observed to be fond of other manual tasks counting up to 28% followed by men reaching 32%. On the other hand, women have high regard for clinical and related duties and stack up to 25 times the value compared to men. THe three least preferred for the genders together are manual work, general labor, and craft-related opportunities. All these combined outputs 16% and 27% do not come close to the likes of the other sections.
The two pie charts presented capture the percentages of six various fields of profession incorporated by both genders (males and females).

Broadly
speaking, it is evident that managerial and professional administrations hold the majority of the figures of both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
non-manual tasks reside at the bottom of the list.

The analysis reveals that a dominant portion of the males and females incline towards managerial and professional work scenarios measuring up to 32 and 28 percentages
respectively
.
In addition
, women are
also
observed to be fond of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
manual tasks counting up to 28% followed by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
reaching 32%. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, women have high regard for clinical and related duties and stack up to 25 times the value compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
THe
three
Possible agreement error. The noun 'least' seems to be countable, so consider using: "littles".
least
preferred for the genders together are manual work, general labor, and craft-related opportunities. All these combined outputs 16% and 27% do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
close to the likes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sections.
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IELTS academic six various fields of profession

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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