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The bar chart shows how much money was spent on watching films at movie theatre, eating out and enjoying music performances at concerts by four groups of people who come from Seoul, South Korea in 2014.

The bar chart shows how much money was spent on watching films at movie theatre, eating out and enjoying music performances at concerts by four groups of people who come from Seoul, South Korea in 2014. NMQX2
The bar chart shows how much money was spent on watching films at movie theatre, eating out and enjoying music performances at concerts by four groups of people who come from Seoul, South Korea in 2014. Overall, the totall amount of money spent on restaurants by four groups was highest. Also, there were significant differences in the expenditures on three leisure activities in most of the age. The 40-55 age group had the highest spending on restaurants, at about 23 million dollars. The expenditure on cinemas by people aged 26-39 was highest among 4 groups, at approximately 13 million dollars and almost as same as the spending on music concerts. People between 40 and 55 years old spent less than about 6 million dollars on music concerts compared to those aged 26-39. Unlike other age groups, whereas from-18-to-25-year-olds spent the most amount of money on music concerts, the lowest spending was on restaurant, at about 14 million dollars and 10 million dollars respectively. The spending on restaurants from people aged 56-80 was twice as much as the figure for cinemas. Also, the 56-80 had the lowest spending on music concerts among four age groups, at around 5 million dollars.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how much money was
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spent
on watching films at movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, eating out and enjoying
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music
performances at
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concerts
by four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from Seoul, South Korea in 2014.

Overall
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
totall
amount of money
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spent
on
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restaurants
by four
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groups
was highest.
Also
, there were significant differences in the expenditures on three leisure activities in most of the age.

The 40-55 age
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group
had the highest
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spending
on
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restaurants
, at about 23
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million
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dollars
. The expenditure on cinemas by
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people
aged 26-39 was highest among 4
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groups
, at approximately 13
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million
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dollars
and almost as same as the
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spending
on
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music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
.
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People
between 40 and 55 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
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spent
less than about 6
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
on
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music
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concerts
compared to those aged 26-39.

Unlike other age
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groups
, whereas from-18-to-25-year-olds
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spent
the most amount of money on
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music
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concerts
, the lowest
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spending
was on
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restaurant
, at about 14
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million
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dollars
and 10
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
respectively
. The
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spending
on
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restaurants
from
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people
aged 56-80 was twice as much as the figure for cinemas.
Also
, the 56-80 had the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
among four age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, at around 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows how much money was spent on watching films at movie theatre, eating out and enjoying music performances at concerts by four groups of people who come from Seoul, South Korea in 2014.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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