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The chat shows the percentage of people of different age group who went cinema ones a month in great Britain

The chat shows the percentage of people of different age group who went cinema ones a month in great Britain xDnYb
The given line chart illustrates the proportion of various age group of individuals who went to visit cinema one time per month in the U. K from 1984 to 2000 Analyzing detail of 1984, 15-24 age of people stood at 15% with the highest percentage, while above 35 age people were negligible ratio out of total. 7-14 and 25-35 youth of people started 5% and 10% respectively. Following five years, all age groups of people figure showed increase trend except only above 35 age. There was fluctuated percentage of 15 to 24 age individuals between 1989 and 1999. From 1994 to 1999, above 10% of 35 and more age people visited cinema, while both age group of 7-14 and 25-35 reached at almost 40 and 32 respectively in 1999. In last year, the higher cinema visited by 15-24 age people which followed for 55%, whereas 7 to 14 and 25 to 35 age individuals were similar proportion. Over 35 age people was a gradual increased in given time span and reached approximately 12%. Overall, it is clear that the percentage of all categories people went up pattern along with time period. The maximum cinema were attended by people who age between 15 to 24
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line chart illustrates the proportion of various
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age
group of individuals who went to visit
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cinema
one time per month in the U. K from 1984 to 2000

Analyzing detail of 1984, 15-24
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age
of
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people
stood at 15% with the highest percentage, while above 35
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were negligible ratio out of total. 7-14 and 25-35 youth of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
5% and 10%
respectively
. Following five years, all
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age
groups of
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people
figure
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showed
increase trend except
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only
above 35
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age
. There
was fluctuated
percentage of 15 to 24
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age
individuals between 1989 and 1999.

From 1994 to 1999, above 10% of 35 and more
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age
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people
visited
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cinema
, while both
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age
group of 7-14 and 25-35 reached at almost 40 and 32
respectively
in 1999. In last year, the higher
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cinema
visited by 15-24
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which followed for 55%, whereas 7 to 14 and 25 to 35
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age
individuals were similar proportion. Over 35
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was a gradual increased in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time span and reached approximately 12%.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the percentage of all categories
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
went up pattern along with time period. The maximum
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cinema
were attended
by
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people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 15 and 24".
between 15 to 24
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IELTS academic The chat shows the percentage of people of different age group who went cinema ones a month in great Britain

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
203 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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