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Selected leisure activities of 5- to 14-years-old in Australia

Selected leisure activities of 5- to 14-years-old in Australia 8G92G
The bar chart present selected leisure activities of Australian youth. It crystal clear that the most popular time killer is watching TV or videos. Furthermore, from three of four remained activities, boys tend to be more energetic than girls. The second most chosen is electronic/computer games. Only one out of five boys don’t participate in this activity, compared to two-fifths girls. Move on to two outdoors activities, girls less likely to select these activity. 10 per cent different from boys’ selection can be applied in both Skateboarding/Rollerblading and Bike riding. In contrast, Art and craft is the only program which dominated by girls. Just above half of girls also spend their time with this creative activity. But, it less likely to be chosen by boys. In summary, according to the figure, boys tend to spend their time with dynamics activities. Whereas, girls love staying with artistic and creative leisure time.
The bar chart present selected leisure
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activities
of Australian youth.
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It
crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the most popular
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time
killer is watching TV or videos.
Furthermore
, from three of four remained
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activities
,
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boys
tend to be more energetic than girls.

The second most chosen is electronic/computer games.
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Only
one out of five
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boys
don’t participate in this
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activity
, compared to two-fifths
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girls
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Move
on to two outdoors
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activities
,
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girls
less likely to select these
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activity
. 10 per cent
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different
from
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boys’
selection can
be applied
in both Skateboarding/Rollerblading and Bike riding.
In contrast
, Art and craft is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
program which dominated by
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girls
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
above half of
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girls
also
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with this creative
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activity
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it less likely to
be chosen
by boys.

In summary, according to the figure,
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boys
tend to spend their
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time
with dynamics
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activities
. Whereas,
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girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
staying with artistic and creative leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS academic Selected leisure activities of 5- to 14-years-old in Australia

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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