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Scientists and technology expert seems to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

The bar chart comparatively illustrates the exports of various categories. The table talks about the changes in the value of each category of exports in 2015 and 2016. According to the statistical data, In the year 2015, petroleum product is the highest with 60%. Whereas, it kept its position stable in 2016 with 62%. which is quite impressive. Moreover, engineers’ goods and g and jewelry are at second and third places in both years. The textile category is the least earning sector in 2015 with 21%but it is escalated its profit ratio in 2016 and it stands besides ap with 31% Moving to the percentage change in values, the petroleum products hiked by 3%. Textiles category is dramatically escalated by 15. 5% which is the biggest among all other sectors. Whereas, G and j are drastically decreased by 5. 18%. Furthermore, ap and eg escalated by 0. 81% and 8. 5%. Overall, in 2016 Ap and textile profit are similar. Engineer's value is the second highest. Comparatively 2015 to 2016 earning are quite increased.
The bar chart
comparatively
illustrates the exports of various
categories
. The table talks about the
changes
in the value of each
category
of exports in 2015 and 2016.

According to the statistical data, In the year 2015, petroleum product is the highest with 60%.
Whereas
, it
kept
its position stable in 2016 with 62%.
which
is quite impressive.
Moreover
, engineers’
goods
and g and jewelry are at second and third places in both years. The textile
category
is the least earning sector in 2015 with 21%
but
it
is escalated
its profit ratio in
2016 and
it stands
besides
ap with 31%

Moving to the percentage
change
in values, the petroleum products hiked by 3%. Textiles
category
is
dramatically
escalated by 15. 5% which is the biggest among all other sectors. Whereas, G and j are
drastically
decreased by 5. 18%.
Furthermore
,
ap
and
eg
escalated by 0. 81% and 8. 5%.

Overall
, in 2016
Ap
and textile profit are similar. Engineer's value is the second highest.
Comparatively
2015 to 2016 earning are quite increased.
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IELTS academic Scientists and technology expert seems to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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