Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

sales of phones by five big companies in year 2009, 2011 and 2013.

sales of phones by five big companies in year 2009, 2011 and 2013. 2xrXX
The given chart illustrates the worldwide sales of the top five companies Samsung, Apple, Nokia, LG, and ZTE for the years 2009, 2011, and 2013. Overall, there is dramatic growth shown for Samsung and Apple, and slow progress for ZTE. On the other hand, Nokia had a gradual dip between the years 2009 to 2011 and a sharp dive from 2011 to 2013. Whereas, LG has a steady decline during the mentioned period. While looking into the finer data, Samsung sold approximately 240 units and about 320 units in 2009 and 2011 respectively. In 2013, the sales of Samsung mobiles hit their peak point of 450 units, which is also the highest among all the brands. Whereas, Apple was able to sell about 30 units in the year 2009 and hit grow five times at end of the year 2013 with the sold number of 150 units. Nokia, who was the leader in 2009 and 2011 just below 450 units and about 420 units respectively, ended up at 2nd position in the chart with 250 units, which is about 43% decline from the year 2009.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart illustrates the worldwide sales of the top five
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
Samsung, Apple, Nokia, LG, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
for the years 2009, 2011, and 2013.

Overall
, there is dramatic growth shown for Samsung and Apple, and slow progress for
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
.
On the other hand
, Nokia had a gradual dip between the years 2009 to 2011 and a sharp dive from 2011 to 2013.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, LG has a steady decline during the mentioned period.

While looking into the finer data, Samsung sold approximately 240
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
and about 320
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
in 2009 and 2011
respectively
. In 2013, the sales of Samsung mobiles hit their peak point of 450
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
, which is
also
the highest among all the brands. Whereas, Apple was able to sell about 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2009 and hit grow five times at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2013 with the sold number of 150 units.

Nokia, who was the leader in 2009 and 2011
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 450
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
and about 420
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
respectively
, ended up at 2nd position in the chart with 250
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
, which is about 43% decline from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2009.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic sales of phones by five big companies in year 2009, 2011 and 2013.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • sales of phones by five big companies in year 2009, 2011 and 2013.