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Robotisation in future human lives

Robotisation in future human lives DqYpo
First of all, the number of robots that is used in different places are increasing dramatically. In my opinion it will lead into a negative development. There are a lot of industries and. Companies are using robots. Because of that so many people lose their job. In other words, the number of robots will added only. Another important thing is robots are working based on the computer language. If it reached on bad hands then it would be a disaster. For example nowadays military are planning to use robots to transport weapons. If they reach in the bad hands, to be more precise, if they got in the enemy's hands then it would be a serious threat to the nation. Secondly, there are some risky factors in Thai particular issue. Safety is one of the major problem among them. Is there any problem occured for the robot it could become a threat for your life. For example, in automobile industries, most of the engine assembling was done by the robots. If teh robots are not working perfectly not only it would affect the assembling but also it would be a threat to the workers. In details, there are some robotic machines are there that is used by the workers. If that is not working properly then it could be harm them. Another one pressing problem is that the robots are highly expensive. For the smoother and perfect operation they need periodic maintenance, which is highly expensive that normal people can not afford. To recapitulate, anyway the number of robots will rise gradually in the future. If it is not meet their purpose, then it will create a negative development on the society.
First of all
, the number of robots
that is
used
in
different
places are increasing
dramatically
. In my opinion it will lead into a
negative
development. There are
a lot of
industries and.
Companies
are using robots.
Because
of that
so
many
people
lose their job.
In other words
, the number of robots will
added
only
. Another
important
thing is robots are working based on the computer language. If it reached on
bad
hands then it would be a disaster.
For example
nowadays military are planning to
use
robots to transport weapons. If they reach in the
bad
hands, to be more precise, if they
got
in the enemy's hands then it would be a serious threat to the nation.
Secondly
, there are
some
risky factors in Thai particular issue. Safety is one of the major problem among them. Is there any problem
occured
for the robot it could become a threat for your life.
For example
, in automobile industries, most of the engine assembling
was done
by the robots. If
teh
robots are not working
perfectly
not
only
it would affect the assembling
but
also
it would be a threat to the workers. In
details
, there are
some
robotic machines are there
that is
used
by the workers. If
that is
not working
properly
then it could be harm them. Another one pressing problem is that the robots are
highly
expensive. For the smoother and perfect operation they need periodic maintenance, which is
highly
expensive that normal
people
can not afford. To recapitulate, anyway the number of robots will rise
gradually
in the future. If it is not
meet
their purpose, then it will create a
negative
development on the society.
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IELTS academic Robotisation in future human lives

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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