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Residential water use in Australia in 2004 and water consumed in Australia in 2004

Residential water use in Australia in 2004 and water consumed in Australia in 2004 yx8Ll
The given bar chart highlights the proportion of water, which was used by Australian people in residential area for different reasons in 2004, whereas the pie chart shows proportion of water was consumed by 6 establishmentsOverall, what stand out from the bar chart is that the proportion of water was used on bathroom was highest in this graph. Meanwhile in pie chart proportion of water was consumed by other was the smallest. As regards bar chart, water was used on bathroom was the first highest at 28 %, just ahead of water was used on garden at 26%. However water was used on toilet as spending as water was used on washing clothes with 15 % and 20 % respectively. 10% water was used on the kitchen. Concerning pie chart, consumed water in Industry was nowhere as consumption as consumed water in Residential houses with 11% and 57% in turn, whereas the proportion of water was used in Business was 3 times more else in other. Water in residential apartment was next at 13 %, which was twice as spending as in Government with 6 %
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar
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chart
highlights the
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proportion
of
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water
, which was
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used
by Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in residential area for
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different
reasons in 2004, whereas the pie
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chart
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shows
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proportion
of
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water
was
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consumed
by 6
Possible spelling mistake found.
establishmentsOverall
, what stand out from the bar
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chart
is that the
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proportion
of
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water
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on bathroom was highest in this graph.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
in pie
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chart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
by other was the smallest. As regards bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on bathroom was the
first
highest at 28 %,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
ahead of
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water
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on garden at 26%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
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water
was
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used
on toilet as spending as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on washing clothes with 15 % and 20 %
respectively
. 10%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on the kitchen. Concerning pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
,
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consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in Industry was nowhere as consumption as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in Residential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
with 11% and 57% in turn, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in Business was 3 times more else in other.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
in residential apartment was
next
at 13 %, which was twice as spending as in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
with 6 %

IELTS academic Residential water use in Australia in 2004 and water consumed in Australia in 2004

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
185 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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