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reported cases of cyberbullying

reported cases of cyberbullying DJMj
The bar graph compares the number of reported cases of cyberbullying based on different countries with different years. Those countries are Malaysia, India, China and the United States respectively. The four countries showed a number of cases in which there was a gradual increase in India from 2005 to 2010 while in China there was a slight decline from 27 cases in 2005 to 25 cases in 2010. However, there was zero cases in Malaysia in 2005 and 2010 Therefore, it can be seen from the bar graph that the United States, Malaysia and India appear to have an astounding number of cases in 2020 compared to China. It is certainly a progress that China’s cases are decreasing from the previous years.
The bar graph compares the number of reported cases of cyberbullying based on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different


countries with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years. Those countries are Malaysia, India, China and the United States

respectively
.

The four countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a number of cases in which there was a gradual increase in India from

2005 to 2010 while in China there was a slight decline from 27 cases in 2005 to 25 cases in

2010.
However
,
Did you mean "there were zero cases"?
there was zero cases
in Malaysia in 2005 and 2010

Therefore
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the bar graph that the United States, Malaysia and India appear to

have an astounding number of cases in 2020 compared to China. It is
certainly
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "progress".
a progress
that

China’s cases are decreasing from the previous years.
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IELTS academic reported cases of cyberbullying

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
122 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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