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contribution to the economy of turkey by sector

contribution to the economy of turkey by sector 8k5V
The pie chart above illustrates the percentage change of several industry sector’s contributions to turkey’s economy in the years 2000 and 2016. Overall, In 2000, the sector that contributed the most to turkey’s economy is agriculture, while the construction sector gives the least percentage. Meanwhile, in 2016, Healthcare and education field gave the highest portion of the contribution, and the smallest portion came from finance, business, and other services. The construction sector only gives 3% to turkey’s economy, but it increases more than three times, up to 10% in 2016. Economic income from trade, utilities and transportation also experience a positive change from 14% to 16%. In the year 2000, the manufacturing sector and finance, business and others contributed up to 8% and 5% respectively and these figures rose to 12% and 8% in 2016. The 24% income from the agriculture sector in 2000, fell to only 14% in 2016. Also, in the year of 2000, the government sector and Leisure and hospitality sector which made up of 12% and 17% respectively, had a decline of 3% to the number of 9% and 14%. On the other hand, the healthcare and education field remains constant both years.
The pie chart above illustrates the percentage
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change
of several industry
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sector’s
contributions to turkey’s economy in the years 2000 and 2016.

Overall
, In 2000, the
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sector
that contributed the most to turkey’s economy is agriculture, while the construction
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sector
gives the least percentage. Meanwhile, in 2016, Healthcare and education field gave the highest portion of the contribution, and the smallest portion came from finance, business, and other services.

The construction
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sector
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only
gives 3% to turkey’s economy,
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but
it increases more than three times, up to 10% in 2016. Economic income from trade, utilities and transportation
also
experience a
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positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from 14% to 16%. In the
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year
2000, the manufacturing
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sector
and finance, business
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and others
contributed up to 8% and 5%
respectively
and these figures rose to 12% and 8% in 2016.

The 24% income from the agriculture
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sector
in 2000, fell to
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only
14% in 2016.
Also
, in the
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year
of 2000, the
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government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
and Leisure and hospitality
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sector
which made up of 12% and 17%
respectively
, had a decline of 3% to the number of 9% and 14%.
On the other hand
, the healthcare and education field remains constant both years.
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IELTS academic contribution to the economy of turkey by sector

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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