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The graphs illustrate the number of foreign admits and resident admits of pupils in Australian universities over a decade. The graphs indicate commencing and total students enrolled at the universities in the country. Overall, the total number of local students at the colleges are higher in contrast to the overeseas students. Although the local commencing students saw an uptrend at the start of the decade, it later drops and remains stable until it sees a spike towards the end of the decade. The foreign commencing students see a steady increase throughout the time frame. The total overseas students in the year 2000 begin with 20000 students and continue to rise to reach a peak of 80000 in the year 2010. Meanwhile, the total national students are 40000 in 2001 and see an upsurge till the year 2007 to reach a peak of 60000 and continue in the same range till 2010. The number of foreign commencing candidates are nearly 10000 in the year 2001 and see an upsurge till 2009 to reach a peak of about 40000 in 2009 and 2010. The highest number of local commencing students are in 2002 and remain in the same range till the end of the decade.
The graphs illustrate the
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number
of foreign admits and resident admits of pupils in Australian universities over a decade. The graphs indicate
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commencing
and
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total
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students
enrolled at the universities in the country.

Overall
, the
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total
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number
of local
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students
at the colleges are higher
in contrast
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
overeseas
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students
. Although the local
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commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an uptrend at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the decade, it later drops and remains stable until it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
a spike towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the decade. The foreign
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commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a steady increase throughout the time frame.

The
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total
overseas
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students
in the
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year
2000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with 20000
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students
and continue to rise to reach a peak of 80000 in the
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year
2010. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are 40000 in 2001 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an upsurge till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2007 to reach a peak of 60000 and continue in the same range till 2010.

The
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number
of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commencing
candidates are
nearly
10000 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2001 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an upsurge till 2009 to reach a peak of about 40000 in 2009 and 2010. The highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are in 2002 and remain in the same range till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the decade.

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Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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