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Read the writing task and look carefully at the bar chart. Percentage of Canadian children and youth attaining selected physical activity criteria.

Read the writing task and look carefully at the bar chart. Percentage of Canadian children and youth attaining selected physical activity criteria. NVW2m
The bar chart shows the amount of time that 12 to 17-years-olds in Canada spend per week on sport and exercise It is clear from the chart that girls are less active in their leisure time than boys. There is a noticeable difference between the percentages of boys and girls who participate in sport for more than an hour three times a week. About one-third of girls devote over an hour of their three times a week to active leisure pursuits while this applies to over half of the boys. There is a similar difference between the percentages of very active young people. Almost 1 in 10 boys between the ages of 12 and 17 play sport for an hour at least 6 days a week. The figure for young women is only 1 in 20. A closer examination of the figures for young people who actually participated in physical activity reveals that the greatest proportion dedicate at least 3 days per week to these pastimes. This is true of about 80 percent of both boys and girls. The fact that girls generally spend close to 10 percent less time on average on physical activities than boys raise questions about how fit young women are in comparison to young men.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the amount of
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time
that 12 to 17-years-olds in Canada spend per
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week
on sport and exercise It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the chart that
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girls
are less active in their leisure
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time
than boys.

There is a noticeable difference between the percentages of
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boys
and
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girls
who participate in sport for more than an hour three
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times
a week.

About one-third of
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girls
devote over an hour of their three
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times
a
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week
to active leisure pursuits while this
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applies to
over half of the
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boys
. There is a similar difference between the percentages of
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very
active
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young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Almost 1 in 10
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boys
between the ages of 12 and 17 play sport for an hour at least 6 days a
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week
. The figure for
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young
women is
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only
1 in 20.

A closer examination of the figures for
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young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who actually participated in physical activity reveals that the greatest proportion dedicate at least 3 days per
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week
to these pastimes. This is true of about 80 percent of both
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boys
and girls.

The fact that
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girls
generally
spend close to 10 percent less
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time
on average on physical activities than
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boys
raise questions about how fit
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young
women are
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
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IELTS academic Read the writing task and look carefully at the bar chart. Percentage of Canadian children and youth attaining selected physical activity criteria.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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