Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Proportion of population of age above 65

Proportion of population of age above 65 x8glN
The graph illustrates the proportion of population of age 65 and above that. Here the countries like Japan USA and Sweden are graphically presented by the proportion of population specially the age of 65 and old age people between 1940 and 2040. The given graph has percentage ratio to year which is in order to Y-axis and X-axis. Y -Axis has upto 30 % marking whereas in X-axis given years are in gap of two decades from 1940 to 2040. Overall, there is marked increase in population ratio in Sweden country which is gradually ascending from 5% to nearly 25%. On the other hand Japan shows descending ratio of 3% upto the year of 2005 and from that it increases about 8 % till 2030. However there is spike of 15 % during that year and by the end of the year it reaches 35 % of population in age group of 65 and over. In compare to Japan and Sweden in USA there was steadily progress and less population among 65 year of age by the time of 2040. The proportion is start from 9 % and nearly remains same over the 40 years between 1980 to 2020 about 14% of increment and then it gradually increases upto 22%.
The graph illustrates the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
65 and above that. Here the countries like Japan USA and Sweden are
graphically
presented by the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
specially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 65 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
between 1940 and 2040.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph has percentage ratio to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
which is in order to Y-axis and X-axis. Y -Axis has
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
30 % marking whereas in X-axis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years are in gap of two decades from 1940 to 2040.

Overall
, there
is marked
increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
ratio in Sweden country which is
gradually
ascending from 5% to
nearly
25%.
On the other hand
Japan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
descending ratio of 3%
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 2005 and from that it increases about 8 % till 2030.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there is spike of 15 % during that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
it reaches 35 % of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group of 65 and over.

In compare to Japan and Sweden
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
there was
steadily
progress and less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
among 65
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
by the time of 2040. The proportion is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from 9 % and
nearly
remains same over the 40 years
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1980 and 2020".
between 1980 to 2020
about 14% of increment and then it
gradually
increases
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
22%.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic Proportion of population of age above 65

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts