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Process of the production products

Process of the production products yGDeE
The diagrams demonstrate information about the stages and equipment used in the cement making process and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes First of all the clay and limestone are crushed together in the crusher and they become powder. After that it is combined a mixer equipment. At the next level of the process a mixed product is entered to rotating heater in order to heat. Following that the production walk along the glinder and at the final stage products of the cement are converted to the same bags. Concrete productions are considered to be mixed different types of products. Firstly four different kinds of products just like cement, water, sand and gravel, accounting for a quarter of sand, the proportion of the gravel is 50 %, a tenth of water and cement’s percentage is 15 %. All of them are mixed in the concrete mixer Overall, it can be concluded that both of them are useful and important for building construction. Preparation of these products is straightforward
The diagrams demonstrate information about the stages and equipment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
making process and how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to produce concrete for building purposes

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
the clay and limestone
are crushed
together in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
crusher and
they become powder.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that it
is combined
a mixer equipment. At the
next
level of the process a mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is entered
to rotating heater in order to heat. Following that the production walk along the
Possible spelling mistake found.
glinder
and at the final stage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
are converted
to the same bags.

Concrete productions
are considered
to
be mixed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Firstly
four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, water, sand and gravel, accounting for a quarter of sand, the proportion of the gravel is 50 %, a tenth of water and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement’s
percentage is 15 %. All of them
are mixed
in the concrete
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
mixer


Overall
, it can
be concluded
that both of them are useful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for building construction. Preparation of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
straightforward

IELTS academic Process of the production products

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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