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Process of making useable paper by using waste paper

Process of making useable paper by using waste paper k52mn
The diagram illustrates the process of making useable paper by using waste paper. Overall, the process of making useable paper consists of six different stages which starts with collecting waste paper and ends with manufacturing. At the beginning of the process, waste paper is collected from people’s paper banks and business. Then, it is classify by hands to remove unsuitable paper. In the following stage, suitable paper is delivered to a paper mill. Next, paper is cleaned, pulped and removed other materials such as staples. After that, the stage is de-inking, Where inks and glues are removed. At last finally, the cleaned paper is transferred to a paper making machine where useable paper produce. (Rupali from 2: 10 batch)
The diagram illustrates the process of making useable paper by using waste paper.

Overall
, the process of making useable paper consists of six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with collecting waste paper and ends with manufacturing.

At the beginning of the process, waste paper
is collected
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s paper banks and business. Then, it is
Consider using a past participle here: "classified".
classify
by hands to remove unsuitable paper. In the following stage, suitable paper
is delivered
to a paper mill.

Next
, paper
is cleaned
, pulped and removed other materials such as staples. After that, the stage is
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-inking
, Where inks and glues
are removed
. At last
finally
, the cleaned paper
is transferred
to a paper making machine where useable paper produce. (
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rupali
from 2: 10 batch)
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IELTS academic Process of making useable paper by using waste paper

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
118 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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