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Pie charts about the percentage of volunteers by organization in 2008 and 2014.

Pie charts about the percentage of volunteers by organization in 2008 and 2014. GNmgo

The given combination of two pie charts represent the information about proportion of helpers who helped in organization in 2008 and 2014. To be more precise, just above a fifth percent volunteers were noticed in first year and this figure was increased by 8℅in 2014. In terms of art, helpers were 18℅ and 12℅in 2008 and 2014, respectively. Maximum free paid employees aided in sports area that was exactly a quarter in the last year whereas it was minimum in first year, stood at 15℅. Moving towards, Almost similar percentage of help was provided by social individuals, approximately 8 in health care. In educational area, 24℅in 2008 and 17℅ in 2014, people were helped as a volunteers. The respective figure of helpers in others was 15℅and 9℅. Overall, it can be noticed that most of volunteers were observed in environmental area and lower in health care in the given period.

The This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accorded
given
 combination of two pie charts represent the information about proportion of helpers who This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assisted
helped
 in organization in 2008 and 2014. To be more precise, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:merely
just
 above a fifth percent Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "volunteer"?volunteer
volunteers
were noticed
 in first
 year and this figure was increased
 by 8℅in 2014. In terms of art, helpers were 18℅ and 12℅in 2008 and 2014, respectively
. Maximum free paid employees aided in sports area that was exactly a quarter in the last year whereas it was minimum in first
 year, stood at 15℅. Moving towards, Almost similar percentage of This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
was provided
 by social individuals, approximately 8 in health care. In educational area, 24℅in 2008 and 17℅ in 2014, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 were This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assisted
helped
 as Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a volunteer" or simply "volunteers"?a volunteervolunteers
a volunteers
. The respective figure of helpers in others was 15℅and 9℅. Overall
, it can be noticed
 that After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the volunteers") or simply say "most volunteers".most of the volunteersmost volunteers
most of volunteers
were observed
 in environmental area and lower in health care in the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accorded
given
 period. 

IELTS academic Pie charts about the percentage of volunteers by organization in 2008 and 2014.

Academic

American English

1 paragraphs

150 words

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
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Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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