Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

pie charts about education

pie charts about education L9GgG
These two pie charts give information about the highest levels of education attained by people in two different countries, with data drawn from people aged over twenty-one. In both nations, secondary school was the highest level of qualification achieved by the largest number of people. In country A, 45% of people had secondary school as their highest level of education, compared to 35% in country B. Notably, both nations had exactly 30% of people giving vocational or technical school as their highest educational qualification. In this respect, the two countries were quite similar. However, in country B, a quarter of the population had attended university, compared to just 5% in country A. Conversely, in country A it was much more likely that people had attended primary school as their highest level of education. In both nations, just 5% of the population had not gotten any form of education at all. Notes This essay uses more numbers but not too many. The grammar here is accurate but it is based upon an assumption that I have made – that the data is from the past. Of course, it could not be from the future and it is unlikely to reflect the present. However, you could theoretically describe this with the present simple tense. Notice my structure: I have discussed both countries within each body paragraph. I did this in order to highlight differences more effectively. I thought that if I described one pie chart and then another, it would not be so obvious how they differed.
These two pie charts give information about the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
attained by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, with data drawn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged over twenty-one. In both nations, secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of qualification achieved by the largest number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
A, 45% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as their highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, compared to 35% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
B.
Notably
, both nations had exactly 30% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
giving vocational or technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as their highest educational qualification.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
this respect, the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
were quite similar.

However
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
B, a quarter of the population had attended university, compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
A.
Conversely
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Possible typo. Did you mean "A" or "it"?
A it
was much more likely that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had attended primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as their highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In both nations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5% of the population had not gotten any form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at all.

Notes

This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
more numbers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. The grammar here is accurate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
is based
upon an assumption that I have made
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
that the data is from the past.
Of course
, it could not be from the future and it is unlikely to reflect the present.
However
, you could
theoretically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
this with the present simple tense.

Notice my structure: I have discussed both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
within each body paragraph. I did this in order to highlight differences more
effectively
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that if I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
one pie chart and then another, it would not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
obvious how they differed.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic pie charts about education

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts