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pie chart electricity production by fuel sources

pie chart electricity production by fuel sources lXBbD
The pie charts illustrate the percentage of electricity production generated from different fuel sources in France between two years 1990 and 2010. Overall, the use of nuclear power increased significantly in 2010, while the use of natural gas decreased sharply. In addition, oil and coal experienced a decline. Likewise, hydropower showed a slight decrease. According to the pie charts, nuclear power accounted for 17%, then it increased by 50% to reach 67% of the total in 2010. The proportion of natural gas comprised 28%, it was the same percentage as the coal in 1990. In 2010 natural gas decreased sharply to 4%. In contrast, electricity production generated by coal accounted for slightly less than a half (13%). On the other hand, the percentage of electricity that was created by oil made up 22% 0f the total in 1990, then showed a significant decrease of just over a half (13%). while hydropower showed a decline from 6% to 2%.
The pie charts illustrate the percentage of electricity production generated from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fuel sources in France between two years 1990 and 2010.

Overall
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of nuclear power increased
significantly
in 2010, while the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of natural gas decreased
sharply
.
In addition
, oil and coal experienced a decline.
Likewise
, hydropower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a slight decrease.

According to the pie charts, nuclear power accounted for 17%, then it increased by 50% to reach 67% of the total in 2010.

The proportion of natural gas comprised 28%, it was the same percentage as the coal in 1990. In 2010 natural gas decreased
sharply
to 4%.
In contrast
, electricity production generated by coal accounted for
slightly
less than a half (13%).

On the other hand
, the percentage of electricity that
was created
by oil made up 22% 0f the total in 1990, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a significant decrease of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a half (13%).
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
hydropower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a decline from 6% to 2%.
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IELTS academic pie chart electricity production by fuel sources

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
158 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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