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percentage of australian men and women of different age

percentage of australian men and women of different age Y2jnV
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of Australian males and females of different ages in 2010 who did physical activity regularly. Overall, percentage in all age ranges for both males and females experienced ups and downs. The percentage of female was always higher than male except in the age range of 15 to 24 years. In 2010, in the age range of 15 to 24 years, the percentage of Australian males who regularly did physical activity was 52. 8%, while for females around 47, 7%. In the range of 25 to 34, the percentage dropped to 42. 2%. Then, in the age range of 35 to 44 years, the percentage of Australian males doing regular physical activity decreased slightly to 39. 5%. Start from the age of 45 to 54, the percentage rose again to 43. 1%. At the age of 55 to 64, the percentage increase to 45. 1%. While in the age range of 65 years and over, the percentage was 46. 7%. Meanwhile, for Australian women, in the age of 15-24 years, the percentage who did regular physical activity was lower than male. But for other age range, the percentage for female was higher than male. Such in the age range of 25 to 34, the percentage rose to 48. 9%. In the age of 35 to 44, the percentage level up to 52. 5%. The highest percentage was in the range of 45-54, i. e. , 53. 5%. In the range of 55 to 64, it decreased slightly to 53% but still higher than males. And finally, for females aged 65 years and over, the percentage was 47. 1%.
The bar chart illustrates the
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percentage
of Australian
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males
and
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females
of
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different
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ages
in 2010 who did
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physical
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activity
regularly
.
Overall
,
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percentage
in all
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age
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ranges
for both
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males
and
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females
experienced ups and downs. The
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percentage
of
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female
was always higher than male except in the
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age
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range
of 15 to 24 years.

In 2010, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of 15 to 24 years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
who
regularly
did
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physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
was 52. 8%, while for
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females
around 47, 7%. In the
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range
of 25 to 34, the
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percentage
dropped to 42. 2%. Then, in the
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of 35 to 44 years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
doing regular
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physical
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activity
decreased
slightly
to 39. 5%.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Start
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 45 to 54, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
rose again to 43. 1%. At the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 55 to 64, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
increase to 45. 1%. While in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of 65 years and over, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was 46. 7%.

Meanwhile, for Australian women, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 15-24 years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
who did regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
was lower than male.
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But
for other
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age
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range
, the
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percentage
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
was higher than male. Such in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
range
of 25 to 34, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
rose to 48. 9%. In the
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age
of 35 to 44, the
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percentage
level up to 52. 5%. The highest
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percentage
was in the
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range
of 45-54,
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
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,
53. 5%. In the
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range
of 55 to 64, it decreased
slightly
to 53%
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but
still
higher than
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males
. And
finally
, for
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females
aged 65 years and over, the
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percentage
was 47. 1%.
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IELTS academic percentage of australian men and women of different age

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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