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Percentage change in employment in the UK, by education level.

Percentage change in employment in the UK, by education level. 9LwP7
The graph shows the actual and predicted percentage change in employment in the UK, by education level since 1990 and predicts a trend till 2025. A growth in employment was noted in two education levels - those with a master’s degree and a bachelor’s degree. First, the employment rate of those with a bachelor's degree escalated to 14% in 2000 when it started fluctuating between 8% and 14%. This is expected to continue in coming years. AT the beginning the rate of employment of those with the master’s degree rate was slower but steadier than the growth rate of bachelor degree employment. However, the situation changed in 200 when employment leve of those with a higher education level rapidly escalated and the upward trend has been maintained since then and is expected to continue. On the other hand, job recruitment of people who graduated from high school and those without school certificate has been steadily dropping since 1990. Nonetheless, the drop of employment of high school graduates levelled off in 2020 and is expected to remain stable. Overall, the trends present that people with higher education are much more likely to be employed than those with lower education or none at all.
The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the actual and predicted percentage
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change
in
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employment
in the UK, by
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education
level since 1990 and predicts a trend till 2025.

A growth in
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employment
was noted
in two
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education
levels
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
those with a master’s
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degree
and a bachelor’s
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degree
.
First
, the
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employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of those with a bachelor's
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degree
escalated to 14% in 2000 when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
fluctuating between 8% and 14%. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to continue in coming years.

AT the beginning the
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rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
of those with the master’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was slower
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but
steadier than the growth
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rate
of bachelor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
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employment
.
However
, the situation
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changed
in 200 when
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employment
Possible spelling mistake found.
leve
of those with a higher
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education
level
rapidly
escalated and the upward trend has
been maintained
since then and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to continue.

On the other hand
, job recruitment of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who graduated from high school and those without school certificate has been
steadily
dropping since 1990. Nonetheless, the drop of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
of high school graduates levelled off in 2020 and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to remain stable.

Overall
, the trends present that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are much more likely to
be employed
than those with lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or none at all.
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IELTS academic Percentage change in employment in the UK, by education level.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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