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People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The given line graph illustrates the figures in millions of people moving from the countryside to cities from 2000 to 2025 in three different countries: Iran, Indonesia and Russia. Overall, the migration of people from rural to urban areas increased dramatically throughout the years except in Indonesia (slow rise). It is expected that the number of people will be rising till 2025 in two countries whereas Indonesia will remain constant from 2020. In 2000, the urban migration was more in Russia than in Indonesia and Iran. This was nearly 15 million, compared to 10 and 8 million respectively in the other two. In Iran was dramatic increase (80 million) between 2005 and 2020. Russia followed the upward trend and equal number of people as Iran relocated over 20 years. The migration rate of people in Indonesia increased slightly till 2020 to 20 million from 10 million in 2000. In the future, it is predicted that Iran will surpass Russia and highest number of people will migrate to urban areas (approximately 100 million). Indonesia will also experience a significant rise till 2025 to around 90 million. There will not be any changes in relocation of people in Indonesia.
The
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given
line graph illustrates the figures in
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millions
of
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people
moving from the countryside to cities from 2000 to 2025 in three
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different
countries: Iran, Indonesia and Russia.

Overall
, the migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from rural to urban areas increased
dramatically
throughout the years except in Indonesia (slow rise). It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that the number of
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people
will be rising till 2025 in two countries whereas Indonesia will remain constant from 2020.

In 2000, the urban migration was more in Russia than in Indonesia and Iran. This was
nearly
15
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million
, compared to 10 and 8
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million
respectively
in the other two. In Iran was dramatic increase (80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million)
between 2005 and 2020. Russia followed the upward trend and equal number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as Iran relocated over 20 years. The migration rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Indonesia increased
slightly
till 2020 to 20
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million
from 10
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million
in 2000.

In the future, it
is predicted
that Iran will surpass Russia and highest number of
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people
will migrate to urban areas (approximately 100
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million)
. Indonesia will
also
experience a significant rise till 2025 to around 90
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million
. There will not be any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in relocation of
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people
in Indonesia.
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IELTS academic People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. with this opinion?

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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