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Participantion in cultural activities, by age

Participantion in cultural activities, by age NybBm
The given bar chart demonstrates the involvement of 4 age groups in many cultural events. Overall, it can be seen that 4 age groups spend most of their time to participated in crafts, cultural purchases, visual arts and other performances, while a lesser amount was spent on writing and computer based. People aged between 16 and 24 years old were more likely to undertake in other performance with 35%, and the figures for other activities were lower, range from 10% to 30%. Moreover, when all ages combined about 22% of people engaged in dancing, singing and other performances, compared to other activities which ranged between 6%and 20%Turning to the remaining statistics, the percentage of young adults age group that participated in any performance was highest ( 22%), followed by crafts and cultural procurement ( 17% ) and other activities were below 16%. Regarding the oldest age group 22% of the elderly involved in crafts activities, was higher than that of cultural purchases, any performance and visual arts with respective figures being 18%, 17% and 11%, the most unpopular events were writing and computer based with exactly 5%
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart demonstrates the involvement of 4
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age
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groups
in
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many
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cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that 4
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age
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groups
spend most of their time to participated in crafts,
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cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
, visual arts and
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other
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performances
, while a lesser amount
was spent
on writing and computer based.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
aged between 16 and 24 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
were more likely to undertake in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
with 35%, and the figures for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
were lower, range from 10% to 30%.
Moreover
, when all
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ages
combined about 22% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
engaged in dancing, singing and
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
, compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which ranged between 6%and 20%Turning to the remaining statistics, the percentage of young adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
that participated in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
was highest
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
22%), followed by crafts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
procurement
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
17%
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
were below 16%. Regarding the oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
22% of the elderly involved in crafts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, was higher than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
and visual arts with respective figures being 18%, 17% and 11%, the most unpopular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
were writing and computer based with exactly 5%
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IELTS academic Participantion in cultural activities, by age

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
186 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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