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Once children start school , teachers have more influence than parents on theri intellectual and social development . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on theri intellectual and social development. KJE6
Skills are very vital in current days to survive and to get success. Therefore, it has been considered that teachers put superior impact on children's social and intellectual growth, when kids do start school. This essay intends to elaborate why I strongly agree with this in the subsequent paragraphs. To embark with, there are multifarious fruitful advantages of teachers for youth's intellectual development. Firstly, it is omniscient that nowadays both parents taking jobs due to the high inflation. Therefore, they are always busy and cannot devote significant time to their children. As a result, children spend a lot of time with teachers than parents and learn number of skills from them because tutors have huge of knowledge of life as well as study. Apartfrom this, when children stuck in any academic domain then guiders can take solution. Consequentl, childern follow the tutors foot steps to solve the problems and to answer the questions. For example, in. Japan, the primary school educators are teaching the common sense before the book knowledge. As a fact, the students learn now to behave Adorable in the community. Probing further, teachers are role models for learners. Children can gain numerous of life lessons from tutor such as how to youth should treat with aged individuals, how they can achieve their ambitions, and so on. Although these type skills children can get at home, but nowadays parents hardly pay attention to them. Hence, youngsters can adopt moral and ethical values from school because children spend too much time at education centre than home. Apart from this, due to the teamwork pupils gain cooperation and discipline. As a result, they can learn how to service and communication in the public places. To conclude, it can be analyzed from graph that albeit, there are number of merits of teachers for children. Nonetheless, parents influence among offsprings cannot be neglected.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Skills
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
days to survive and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success.
Therefore
, it has
been considered
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
put superior impact on children's social and intellectual growth, when kids do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
school. This essay intends to elaborate why I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this in the subsequent paragraphs. To embark with, there are multifarious fruitful advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
for youth's intellectual development.
Firstly
, it is omniscient that nowadays both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
taking jobs due to the high inflation.
Therefore
, they are always busy and cannot devote significant time to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and learn number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
tutors have huge of knowledge of life
as well
as study.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Apartfrom
this, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
stuck in any academic domain then guiders can take solution.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Consequentl
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
follow the tutors foot steps to solve the problems and to answer the questions.
For example
, in. Japan, the primary school educators are teaching the common sense
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the book knowledge. As a fact, the students learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to behave Adorable in the community. Probing
further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are role models for learners.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can gain numerous of life lessons from tutor such as how to youth should treat with aged individuals, how they can achieve their ambitions, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Although these type
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
at home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
hardly pay attention to them.
Hence
, youngsters can adopt moral and ethical values from school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend too much time at education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
than home. Apart from this, due to the teamwork pupils gain cooperation and discipline.
As a result
, they can learn how to service and communication in the public places.
To conclude
, it can
be analyzed
from graph that albeit, there are number of merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Nonetheless,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
influence among
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
cannot
be neglected
.
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IELTS academic Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on theri intellectual and social development.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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