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Olympic medals won by twelve various countries

Olympic medals won by twelve various countries JK6rB
The bar chart gives information about the number of Olympic medals won by twelve various countries, namely China, Japan, East Germany, Hungary, Australia, Sweden, Italy, Germany, France, the UK, The Soviet Union and the USA. Overall, a closer look at the bar graph highlights that the number of the USA occupies the highest in the graph while various countries tend to be fairly similar throughout the period shown. Look at the bar graph in more detail, the USA has won a total of 2300 Olympic medals, including 900 gold medals, 800 silver medals, and 600 bronze medals. The second on the medals graph is the Soviet Union with 1000 Olympic medals, while this country gold medals won higher than silver and bronze medals. It can be seen that the number of four different countries, namely the UK, France, Germany and Italy have won more than 500 Olympic medals. The lowest in this bar chart is Japan only 400 Olympic medals.
The bar chart gives information about the number of Olympic
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medals
won by twelve various
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countries
,
namely
China, Japan, East Germany, Hungary, Australia, Sweden, Italy, Germany, France, the UK, The Soviet Union and the USA.

Overall
, a closer look at the bar
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graph
highlights that the number of the USA occupies the highest in the
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graph
while various
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countries
tend to be
fairly
similar throughout the period shown.

Look at the bar
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graph
in more detail, the USA has won a total of 2300 Olympic
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medals
, including 900 gold
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medals
, 800 silver
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medals
, and 600 bronze
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medals
. The second on the
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medals
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graph
is the Soviet Union with 1000 Olympic
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medals
, while this
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country
gold
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medals
won higher than silver and bronze medals.

It can be
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seen
that the number of four
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
namely
the UK, France, Germany and Italy have won more than 500 Olympic
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medals
. The lowest in this bar chart is Japan
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only
400 Olympic
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medals
.
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IELTS academic Olympic medals won by twelve various countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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