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oil consumption from 2009 to 2030

oil consumption from 2009 to 2030 7rNOk
The given line graph illustrates the numbers of oil consumed in different places from 2009 to 2030. Overall, while the oil consumption in USA and Western Europe and Japan decreases, the figure of Chiba and the Middle East follow the opposite trend. Additionally, the USA was the largest consumer and is predicted to remain the biggest until 2030. From 2009 to 2025, there is an unlikely trend between Western Europe & Japan, the USA and other countries. The number of oil used in the USA started at around 9 million, which is the highest, whereas that of China and the Middle East also stood at the lowest, with 2 million. When Western Europe & Japan experienced a decline to 3 million in oil consumption from 2009 to 2015, there was an upward trend in China and the Middle East, with 4 million and just under 2. 5 million, respectively. In Particular, the figure of the USA hit the peak at 10 million in 2015 and is predicted to dramatically decrease to 8 million in 2025. From 2025 to 2030, the number of oil consumed in China and Western Europe & Japan is estimated to slightly fall while that of the Middle East might increase. More than that, the Western Europe & Japan are going to be the lowest oil consumers. The USA is predicted to be also the biggest oil consumer, although the oil consumption is estimated to unchanged from 2025 to 2030.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates the numbers of
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oil
consumed in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places from 2009 to 2030.
Overall
, while the
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oil
consumption
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
and Western Europe and
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Japan
decreases, the figure of Chiba and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Middle
East follow the opposite trend.
Additionally
, the USA was the largest consumer and
is predicted
to remain the biggest until 2030.

From 2009 to 2025, there is an unlikely trend between Western Europe &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, the USA and other countries. The number of
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oil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at around 9
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million
, which is the highest, whereas that of China and the
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Middle
East
also
stood at the lowest, with 2
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million
. When Western Europe &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
experienced a decline to 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
consumption from 2009 to 2015, there was an upward trend in China and the
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Middle
East, with 4
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million
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 2. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
,
respectively
.
In Particular
, the figure of the USA hit the peak at 10
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million
in 2015 and
is predicted
to
dramatically
decrease to 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2025.

From 2025 to 2030, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
consumed in China and Western Europe &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
is estimated
to
slightly
fall while that of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Middle
East might increase. More than that, the Western Europe &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
are going to be the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
consumers. The USA
is predicted
to be
also
the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
consumer, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
consumption
is estimated
to unchanged from 2025 to 2030.
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IELTS academic oil consumption from 2009 to 2030

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
243 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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