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Number of whales sightings from Springbay Lighthouse, 2009-2013

Number of whales sightings from Springbay Lighthouse, 2009-2013 bDPwq
The line graph depicts the evidence about the number of whale spotting from Springbay Lighthouse in years between 2009 to 2013. It is cleared that, generally the trend is rising from 2009 to 2013. From year 2009, in which the number was near 45, it slightly once dipped to 40 in 2010, but it jumped to 105 in 2011, after that it never went that down, although there was a little variation too between the year 2011 to 2013, where the number goes down to 90 in 2012 but in 2013, it bounced back again to 110, smaller ups and down may occur between the years ahead but it can be confidently said that there will be probably an increase in the whale sighting been continued in the succeeding years too.
The line graph depicts the evidence about the number of whale spotting from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Springbay
Lighthouse in years
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2009 and 2013".
between 2009 to 2013
.

It
is cleared
that,
generally
the trend is rising from 2009 to 2013. From
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2009, in which the number was near 45, it
slightly
once dipped to 40 in 2010,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it jumped to 105 in 2011, after that it never went that down, although there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
variation too between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2011 to 2013, where the number goes down to 90 in 2012
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2013, it bounced back again to 110, smaller ups and down may occur between the years ahead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can be
confidently
said that there will be
probably
an increase in the whale sighting
been continued
in the succeeding years too.
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IELTS academic Number of whales sightings from Springbay Lighthouse, 2009-2013

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
131 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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